


When It Rains

by foxiea



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grieving, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Season 4 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 14:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12772854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxiea/pseuds/foxiea
Summary: It pours.





	When It Rains

The castle-ship is empty when Green docks in her hangar, something Pidge is grateful for.  She feels empty too.

She stumbles out of her lion, ignoring how Green calls out to her.  There’s the promise of warmth and comfort in the cockpit; Green will cocoon her inside and help her bear the pain.  Pidge drags a hand wistfully over the lion’s huge paw.  “I’m sorry girl, but I need to be alone right now.”

Green’s whine is low in the back of her head, but she does not protest.  Pidge can sense her helplessness, her worry, and she forces a small smile, although she knows the lion cannot see it.  “I’ll be okay,” she says, and the words sting because logically, she knows she will, eventually, but right now that feels like an impossibility.  

Green doesn’t call her out on her lie.

 

* * *

 

 

When Lance arrives back at the castle-ship, it’s Blue that clues him in on something being wrong.  Hearing her voice gives him pangs of longing in his chest; they always had such a close bond, and while he’s going strong with Red, he  _ misses _ her in a way he can’t really put into words, like a first love he’ll never be able to forget.   _ I’m sorry _ , she says, when she senses his discomfort, but Lance just shakes his head.   _ Nothin’ to be sorry for, beautiful,  _ and for a moment it’s like they’re Lance-and-Blue again, him showering her with endless compliments, and her proud and preening.

It’s just a moment though, because Lance remembers that Blue has Allura now, and falling back into old habits with Blue feels almost like a betrayal of them both.  The low rumble from Blue in his mind tells him she understands.  Lance thanks her - he has so, so many things to thank her for - and when the connection is severed he waits for the bittersweet feeling to pass before he sets out to find Pidge.

 

* * *

 

Pidge looks out the viewport into space, and all she sees is something vast and cold and lonely.  When she was younger, listening to the stories her father told, or looking up at the stars in the night sky with Matt, it seemed magical, full of endless possibilities.  So many of her childhood fantasies have lost their shine as she’s grown up, and she’s still only a teenager.

She presses her hand to the glass-like surface, and wonders what her father thinks of space now; what Matt thought of it when he fought alongside aliens for the freedom of planets he’d never even known about before leaving Earth.  She wonders if he was as terrified as she feels some days.  She wonders if he knew, somehow, that she was looking for him.

Her hand curls into a fist, her shoulders draw together, tightening a line across her back, and finally, she begins to cry.

 

* * *

 

Lance likes to think he knows Pidge.  He likes to think he knows all his teammates, really, but Pidge and Hunk especially, because they were his team back at the Garrison when he was just a cargo pilot that got a lucky break and was never allowed to forget it.  In reality, he knows Hunk pretty well - not only is the guy Lance’s best friend, he’s also always been an open book - but Pidge, despite opening up about her identity and her family, has always been a bit hesitant.

Lance is a people kind of guy.  He’s good at talking, good at getting people to open up, good at picking up on small details and tells in body language.  Despite all his natural charm, Pidge seems to put up an extra barrier, almost as if she’s afraid of what he might see in her.

It’s a shame, Lance thinks, because he’s so in awe of her that he’s sure all he’ll ever see is this amazing, intelligent, and ridiculously snarky teenage girl that he wants to know everything about.  He wants to know what the world looks like through her eyes.  But right now, as he sees her small body shaking with the force of her sobs, what he wants most of all is to know what’s wrong, and what he can do to make it better.

 

* * *

 

“Pidge?” A voice says, and her body stiffens.  It’s Lance, and she’s crying, and she doesn’t want him to see her like this but she  _ does  _ \- wants him to take her in his arms and just  _ be there _ , propping her up the way he always seems to do when she needs it.

“Hey,” he says, and his voice is so soft, so gentle, Pidge wants to melt into it.  “What’s the matter?”  She looks up at him, into his blue eyes that are creased with concern, and suddenly she feels bad for all the times she’s teased Lance, because at times like this he’s just so kind and good and pure.

She hiccups, and Lance’s lips curve into a small smile.  “Do you want a hug?” he asks, and Pidge just sobs miserably and nods, and lets him pull her flush against his chest.  Lance is lean and muscled, she’s seen as much from their time in the training room (and maybe, on occasion, she’s spent a little big longer looking than she should have), but he feels impossibly soft when she leans into him.

 

* * *

 

He’s never seen Pidge cry, and if he’s honest with himself, it scares him.  He’s seen her sad, sure.  There are several nights they’ve spent together, reminiscing about home and their families, and how much they miss them.  Lance had cried, but Pidge’s sadness seemed to fuel her determination to get her family back, and her anger towards the Galra.

She’s different now, and it’s not just the crying.  It’s the limpness in her body, like the fight has gone out of her; the tiredness in the lines of her shoulders; the look of defeat and resignation in her eyes.  He’s not quite sure what to do, so he just holds her shaking body close and strokes her hair in what he hopes is a comforting gesture.  It takes a long time, but eventually her sobs quieten to sniffles, her movements still, and her breathing evens out.

“Hey,” he says.  “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”  He almost regrets asking when he sees her chin begin to wobble and it looks like she might just burst into tears again.  She opens her mouth, and it’s a struggle for her to get the words out.  “I,” she tries, then bites her lip.  She ducks her chin, tearing her eyes away from his, almost as if she’s afraid of what he’ll think when he tells her.  “It’s okay, Pidge,” he says.  “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

She looks back up at him then, and his chest almost physically hurts at how utterly distraught she looks.  “I was too late,” she manages.  Her eyes flicker between his own, fearful, and she actually flinches when his arms land on her shoulders to tug her closer, into a tight hug.  “Oh Pidge,” he says.  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”  And that’s all it takes for her to start sobbing again.  “Is there anything I can do?” He asks, as gently as he can.  Pidge nods into the crook of his neck.  

“Stay,” she whispers, and they both know that she doesn’t just mean in this moment, she means for however long this war lasts.  She’s asking him for something he can’t guarantee, something none of them can guarantee, to live.

“I will,” he says, and hopes it isn’t a lie.


End file.
